Khatta Meetha Release Date : 23,Jul 2010

When Priyadarshan and Akshay Kumar join hands, you expect the cineplex to reverberate with laughter. Let's not forget, the team has regaled us with some terrific entertainers in the past. Naturally then, you expect Khatta Meetha to take the legacy forward.

Unfortunately, Khatta Meetha is noise (the actors scream a lot in this movie), more noise (the great promotion) and only noise, while the content takes a complete backseat. Although Khatta Meetha shouldn't be compared to this combo's earlier works, since this one's a satire, I have to add that this is their weakest film to date.

The first question I asked myself once the movie got over was, what's the story? Okay, okay, neither did Priyadarshan's last few films had a story to tell, but when you attempt a satire, when one talks of the hardships faced by the common man, when one talks of corruption in society, there HAS to be a story in place. That goes without saying!

Khatta Meetha raises a finger at the corruption in government establishments, but what it tries to say, or expose, has been witnessed over and over again. In fact, it's the writing - sorry, the absence of it - that makes matters worse. The beginning is good, the middle falters and the end is exasperating.

Final word? This one's far from being meetha. It's a khatta experience!

Struggling road construction contractor Sachin Tichkule (Akshay Kumar) is doomed. There is no chance that his dreams will ever come true, simply because he has no money to bribe. To make matters worse, the new Municipal Commissioner turns out to be his ex girlfriend (Trisha), who now hates him.

The film reveals the extent of corruption and bribery rampant in the system and the ingenious means you have to adopt if you want to survive in today's times.

Khatta Meetha attempts to say a lot many things in those two hours and forty minutes. Oh yes, its running time is a problem, more so because the narrative lacks the power to keep you hooked to the proceedings.

Okay, coming back to what I wanted to say, Khatta Meetha is more of a collage of isolated incidents encompassed in within its duration. The collapse of the bridge, the consequent murder of Tinnu Anand, the constant bickering in the house, the tu-tu-main-main between Akshay and Trisha, the sister's track, the corrupt netas and government babus, the payment issue of workers... several sequences are a repeat of what you watched barely minutes ago or an hour ago.

While the romantic track is the weakest link (half-baked; the songs are forced down your throats, without valid situations whatsoever), the flashback portions depicting Akshay Kumar as a college student, is just hard to digest. Even the end is worn out and doesn't give the feel of contentment that one expects at the conclusion of a film.

Priyadarshan's handling of the comic sequences is noteworthy especially in the first half of the film. The repair-and-paint sequence at Asrani's mansion is sure to bring the house down. Ditto for the conversation that Asrani has with multiple people, in person and also on phone. Also, the road roller sequence is a laugh-riot and prior to that Johny Lever's sequence of repairing the road roller is truly funny. But a few isolated sequences aren't enough. The veteran storyteller ought to know the importance of a watertight screenplay by now.

Cinematographer V Manikandan's lens captures the exteriors with flourish. Pritam's music is easy on the ears and two songs are extremely popular as well. But the placement of songs in the narrative acts as a roadblock. Dialogues are funny at times, especially the one-liners.

Akshay Kumar plays the common man with gusto. He looks his part and more importantly, not once do you feel that he's repeating himself. However, he goes over the top in a few sequences.

Trisha carries the Plain Jane look well, but fails as an actress. The fiery attitude, so vital when you're enacting the role of the Municipal Commissioner, is missing. Rajpal Yadav is in terrific form yet again. What a splendid actor!

Urvashi Sharma is awkward. Makrand Deshpande is wasted. Tinnu Anand is hardly there. Even Aroona Irani is sidelined. Kulbhushan Kharbanda is first-rate. Asrani is excellent. Manoj Joshi screams too much. Ditto for Neeraj Vora. Milind Gunaji is okay. The actor playing the role of Urvashi's husband does a good job.

On the whole, Khatta Meetha is a major letdown from the accomplished director. It's not a full-blown comedy. It's not a full-scale satire either. Hugely disappointing!

Lamhaa Release Date : 16,Jul 2010

Producer Bunty Walia, Jaspreet Singh Walia
Director Rahul Dholakia
Music Mithoon
Writer Rahul Dholakia, Raghav Dhar
Lyrics Sayeed Quadri
Release Date 16-Jul-2010

Lamhaa opens in the year 2009 and talks about the separatist protest movements that initiated in Kashmir which (it repeatedly claims throughout the film) had started ‘18 years’ back in the year 1989. Not only does the film goes appallingly wrong with elementary mathematics, but also adds to the audience ambiguity through its constantly changing geographical boundaries and jumbled history.

Lamhaa mercilessly doesn’t deal with the Kashmir issue in an outright jingoistic approach like those countless formula films that have been made on the theme that show India as a clear-cut hero and Pakistan as a definite villain to exploit patriotic sentiments. This film highlights several discrepancies in our own country from corrupt army officers, conniving politicians to scheming businessmen. But beyond that when it attempts to fit in a clichéd conspiracy theory within the preset political premise, it falls flat on its face.

Officer Vikram (Sanjay Dutt) is sent on an undercover operation to Kashmir when the Indian intelligence gets information of a probable big terror attack in the valley. There a separatist leader Haji (Anupam Kher) has been fighting against the Indian government since 1989 for Azad Kashmir. Haji’s protégé Aziza (Bipasha Basu) supports her mentor in his mission. Haji’s other ex-protégé Aatif (Kunal Kapoor), who is now a reformed militant, wants to contest elections from the valley to win his people and province.

For Vikram, spying seems to be a child’s play. He sneaks into the police commissioner’s office in broad daylight as if playing hide-and-seek with him. He walks into a seamster’s shop who gives him ‘tailor-made’ tips and tracks terrorist identity by just having a look at their jackets. (Was the writing conveniently inspired by the investigative tele-series CID?) For no good reason Vikram keeps stalking and supporting Aziza in her attempts. Thankfully (though the background score gives a slight hint) a romance track is averted.

Through all his lackadaisical spying, Vikram finally learns that the neighbouring country is going to repeat the assault of 1989 on a larger scale. So as you look forward to a striking climax, you are sorely disappointed to discover that the supposedly colossal conspiracy merely ends up being a bombing plan on a political rally, seen for a zillion times in Hindi films. The intended twist in the plot is predictable and the convenient culmination is void of any dramatic moments.

It takes time to absorb the wide-ranging characters and their varied conflicts in the film and yet you do not understand all of them. Vikram is specifically chosen for the Kashmir operation though he doesn’t belong to the region.

Yet there is no background account to justify his character, making him look shallow. In the initial reels, one tends to get confused if Anupam Kher’s Haji is a protagonist or antagonist as he keeps juggling between the two identities through the film. His fallout with Aatif is merely mentioned in a flashback scene. And then there is Mahesh Manjrekar playing Peer Baba in a cameo who remains quite undefined through the film.

The screenplay by Raghav Dhar and Rahul Dholakia appears disjoint with constant unconnected scenes and subplots. Though the writing attempts to touch several related concerns from the half widows of Dardpura village, victimized prostitutes to the psychosis of the border security soldiers; these works only peripherally without being plugged into the core narrative. Bipasha Basu’s public humiliation scene seems to be distinctly derived from Monica Belluci’s Maléna. Nevertheless the actress is poignantly effective in her outburst.

The pacing seems too hurried and the restless editing by Ashmith Kunder and Akshay Mohan barely allows you to breathe, gasp, feel, absorb, react or relate. The incessant disturbing camera movements by cinematographer Jamie Fowlds annoy you more than having an effect. Mithoon’s soothing musical score has its charming moments.

The performances are not bad but don’t rise above the script. Sanjay Dutt plays his age but his character seems half-baked. Bipasha Basu is decent in a different role. Kunal Kapoor adds grace to his character but sounds meek in delivering political speeches. Anupam Kher is effective.

For the common man, the politics of Kashmir has often been a complicated topic. This film doesn’t make it any simpler. Lamhaa doesn’t enthrall beyond a few interesting moments.

Tere Bin Laden Release Date : 16,Jul 2010

Producer Pooja Shetty Deora, Aarti Shetty
Director Abhishek Sharma
Music Shankar Mahadevan, Ehsaan Noorani, Loy Mendonsa, Dhruv Dhalla
Writer Abhishek Sharma
Lyrics Jaideep Sahni
Release Date 16-Jul-2010

Osama Bin Laden is back. He has put on weight and is looking younger with botox. And he is all set to attack you with some side-splitting moments in this crime con-medy Tere Bin Laden.

Set in Pakistan, Ali (Ali Zafar) works as a television reporter for local news channel but wants to migrate to the US for better prospects. After being deported from US once and having his American visa rejected seven times, Ali approaches a travel agent who assures him of an entry to America if he can manage a couple of lakhs.

That’s when he stumbles across Noora (Pradhuman Singh) whose facial features come too close to Osama Bin Laden. Ali hatches a plan to shoot a fake video of Osama with Noora and sell it to news channels for big money. So he hires services of a makeup artist (Sugandha Garg), an Arabic scriptwriter (Chirag Vohra), a dubbing artist (Rahul Singh) and a cameraman (Nikhil Ratnaparkhi) to create the video footage that creates big furor across the globe.

Unfortunately his plan backfires when Pakistanis are forbidden entry into US due to security reasons after Osama’s reappearance. Further an American intelligence officer (Barry John) arrives in Pakistan to trace Osama’s whereabouts.

It’s impressive how an Indian director makes a film entirely set in Pakistan and takes several digs at Pakistan’s infrastructure and America’s intelligence in a smart and subtle manner. Writer-director Abhishek Sharma humorously pulls off every politically incorrect aspect that we unofficially know about the two nations through the comic genre of his film. This one is India’s very own Hot Shots Part Deux.

Slapstick in some scenes, satirical in most and silly at times, Tere Bin Laden clicks primarily because above all its farce, it has an entertaining story to narrate. The writing is witty, funny, crisp and moves at a brisk pace so much so that one doesn’t look for too much of conviction in the bigger picture.

The con game in the film is redolent of the con-comedy Khosla Ka Ghosla. Also the song ‘Ullu Da Patha’ written by Jaideep Sahni is in the vein of ‘Chak De Phatte’ written by him in Khosla Ka Ghosla. The dialogues have an authentic Urdu touch to it but with pungent Punjabi punches, it’s not difficult to appreciate the humour. Noora’s rendition of Arabic lines as Osama is hilarious. So is the scene where his most priced possession, a murga turns into a martyr. Thankfully the film doesn’t divert into unnecessary romance track or forced song-n-dance.

Showcasing comical flair like Riteish Deshmukh and a façade like Shahid Kapoor, Pakistani actor Ali Zafar effortlessly glides through his role. Pradhuman Singh is hilarious while pulling off an Osama Bin Laden. Barry John pretty much justifies the firang character he plays. Blessed with impeccable comic timing, Piyush Mishra is uproarious. The ensemble character cast of Sugandha Garg, Nikhil Ratnaparkhi, Rahul Singh and Chirag Vohra play their parts well.

Tere Bin Laden is laden with some genuine laugh-out-loud moments. Entertaining, enjoyable and surely worth a watch!

Udaan Release Date : 16,Jul 2010

Producer Anurag Kashyap, Ronnie Screwvala, Sanjay Singh
Director Vikramaditya Motwane
Music Amit Trivedi
Writer Anurag Kashyap, Vikramaditya Motwane
Lyrics Amitabh Bhattacharya
Release Date 16-Jul-2010

Much against our will, at several instances in life, one has to helplessly bow down to some entity – be it your teacher, boss, kin or anyone else. Udaan narrates a tale where a son is almost on an extended detention under his disciplinarian father’s domain. Through this allegory, Udaan inspires one to break away from all bindings of life and fly freely.

In its very first scene, four teenagers jump off their hostel compound wall to indulge in an adult film. Caught by the warden, they all are expelled from their school. One of them, Rohan (Rajat Barmecha) is sent back to his hometown Jamshedpur where his father (Ronit Roy), whom he hasn’t met for years, isn’t much happy to have him back. Rohan is also introduced to a younger stepbrother Arjun (Aayan Boradia), who he never knew existed.

Much against his aspirations of being a writer, Rohan is forced to study engineering and work part-time in his father’s factory. The tyrant rule of his father cuts off all the independence he enjoyed in his school days. As life turns more and more claustrophobic under the roof of his dominating father, the only respite he finds is in his uncle (Ram Kapoor) and college senior (Anand Tiwari).

The story of Udaan can be encapsulated as the unspoken track in 3 Idiots where the disciplinarian dean (Boman Irani) loses his son whom he tries to mould in his way rather than letting him live his life.

Interestingly, Udaan doesn’t merely restrict the father-son divide till the academic expectations that parents have from their children, like in 3 Idiots or Taare Zameen Par. Ronit Roy’s multifaceted father figure is added with layers of frustration of being a single parent, a widower and having a regimented past of being brought up under as much discipline by his strict father which he carries forward to his children. He is caring but not loving. His quest for control has conquered his warmth as a parent. So much so that he wants his son to address him as Sir and not dad.

The writing by Vikramaditya Motwane and Anurag Kashyup is real, refreshing, straightforward and effective. The initial few sequences simply communicate the daily lifestyle of the father which the son is attempting to adapt to. But the proceedings keep you riveted because the routine is as much unusual to the viewer as much to Rohan. Also the writers at no point get carried away to portray the father as an outright villain.

His character is balanced with sporadic humane shades but since he is too rigid and incorrigible, the story works towards the liberation of the son over the rectification of the father. The continual dominance of the father on the son doesn’t get monotonous, since the prolonged narrative gives time to Rohan to reach the threshold of his tolerance. That justifies, both, the slow pacing and the long length of the film.

The screenplay delicately works towards the relationships between the central characters.

While the rift between Rohan and his father increases, reciprocally, he develops an endearing attachment with his kiddo stepbrother. Some scenes are kept long to stay with the protagonist and allow you to experience or at least relate to his mental turmoil. Yet the sequences don’t seem stretched and the director keeps the treatment comprehensible without tending to get artistic or abstract.

Milenge Milenge Release Date : 09,Jul 2010

Producer Surinder Kapoor
Director Satish Kaushik
Music Himesh Reshammiya
Writer Shiraz Ahmed
Lyrics Sameer
Release Date 09-Jul-2010

I'm brewing a new conspiracy theory that cinema halls are turning up the air-conditioning in order to numb our brains. It is thanks to the sub-zero atmosphere while watching Milenge Milenge that my limbs were frozen, not permitting me to escape this loud and dated piece of celluloid.

Priya’s (Kareena Kapoor) sole purpose in life is to meet the man of her dreams. She has three conditions, he shouldn’t smoke, he shouldn’t drink and he mustn’t lie. Of course, he could be a serial killer, a Russian spy or even a cross-dressing gay ballerina--it probably wouldn’t matter to our dizzy headed damsel.

Priya meets a tarot reader (Kirron Kher) (who looks suspiciously like Sunita Menon on whey protein). She predicts that Priya will find the love of her life on a Bangkok beach on so and so date and so and so time. Not just that, she also predicts that her lover will be wearing rainbow colored clothes. Hmmmm….?!

As luck, fate, or maybe destiny would have it; Priya is suddenly selected to travel to Bangkok as part of a youth festival! (Yes, in spite of the extensive cinematic journey that Ms Kapoor has made, she plays a college going ‘youth’ again).

So, Priya, with wind in her hair and too many ‘rom-com’ dvd’s in her head, arrives with crossed fingers at a Thailand beach that could be a little ahead of Madh island (Mumbai).

Our hearts were racing fast to find out if ‘Sunita Menon on whey protein’ had made an accurate prediction. And the anticipation wasn’t in vain. Playing the guitar tunefully and half submerged in water, is the man of Priya’s dreams. He is Immy (Shahid Kapoor, also playing a college going youth!). As luck, fate or maybe destiny would have it, Immy doesn’t smoke, doesn’t drink, and lo and behold—he doesn’t lie either.

As you watch an elated Priya talk marriage before they finish their first walk together, you feel a little sorry for her. Not just because she may require psychiatric help for buying into such crap and wanting to marry a perfect stranger…but also because you are privy to a little secret.

Immy is actually a drinker, a smoker, and brace yourself---he even LIES! Wearing a mini skirt and a tube-top (!!??!!) Immy had sneaked into a sleeping Priya’s room. After falling in love with her while she was sleeping, he stole her diary and, as luck, fate, or maybe destiny would have it, he knew all her secrets.

When Priya finds her diary in Immy’s room, it slowly dawns on her that this is not the man from ‘Sunita Menon on whey protein’s prediction! She is heartbroken that she professed her undying love for him.

Meanwhile, Immy has had a change of heart and is having his last drink & smoke. No, he is not going to end his life to escape the psycho chick, he has decided to be the man that Priya wants him to be, and will henceforth be a teetotaler.

Tough luck, because Immy’s party is busted by Priya, who has decided to leave him. If it is fated, destined or they are lucky, they will meet again. But how will he find her? He asks, now heartbroken himself. Besides the youth festival that had all her details and her many friends that were still around, there would be no other way to find her. Alas! He would lose her forever!

Destiny’s unwanted child--Priya , has a masterstroke of an idea. She writes Immy’s phone number on a 50-rupee note and buys a book on, no prizes for guessing this one, ‘Destiny’. She then writes her name and number in the book and decides to drop the book off at a random bookstore. If it is fated, destined or if they are lucky, the note or the book will reach them, and then she will know that they are meant to be.

Underlining this ‘serendipitous’ moment, we hear the horrific nasal cry of a tortured elephant. Or is it Himesh Reshmiya’s screeching voice for a background score. I can’t tell for sure.

After another hour of 90’s choreography, jarring background music, silly gags and unflattering low angles shots of Kareena, the lovers have started to pine for each other. They are both getting married on, yes, you guessed it, the same day! Neither has found the book or the note.

Will fate, luck and maybe destiny bring the star-crossed lovers together? If you really care, go watch Satish Kaushik’s Milenge Milenge. Make sure you outsmart the cinemas by carrying a thermal blanket with you. In case you don’t want your brain and your limbs numbed.

Frankly, this film is old wine in an even older bottle.

Red Alert - the war within Release Date : 09,Jul 2010

Producer T P Aggarwal, Rahul Aggarwal
Director Anant Mahadevan
Music Lalit Pandit
Writer Aruna Raje
Lyrics Javed Akhtar
Release Date 09-Jul-2010

Story: Suneil Shetty, a cook who delivers food to a band of Naxals holed up in a forest, is forced to join them, when the cops follow him and stage an encounter. Is this the initiation -- and politicisation -- of the apolitical simpleton into India's most violent and visible grassroot movements today?

Movie Review: Now what could be more topical than a film on India's most burning issue of the moment: the Naxalite movement that has metamorphosed into a civil war that seems to be setting our nation on fire. Ananth Narayan's film, scripted by one of our finest women directors, Aruna Raje, is doubly important. First, it literally takes off from the headlines that have been glaring in your face in the last few years. Second, it dares to enter not only the geographical territory of the war within, but also explores the more tricky ideological terrain. Is there any justification at all for the maoist movement which has created heroes out of people who are allegedly responsible for unprecedented violence and death? More importantly an ideology which is gradually growing into a mass movement, resulting in an ever-growing Red corridor, running through the heart of India.

I Hate Luv Storys Release Date : 02,Jul 2010

Producer Karan Johar, Hiroo Yash Johar, Ronnie Screwvala
Director Punit Malhotra
Music Vishal Dadlani, Shekhar Ravjiani
Writer Punit Malhotra
Lyrics Anvita Dutt, Kumaar, Vishal Dadlani
Release Date 02-Jul-2010

'I hate luv storys' is the maxim Jay lives by. But as an assistant director to Veer, the most famous romantic filmmaker of Indian Film Industry, Jay has little option but to live with larger than life, glossy, cinematic love on an everyday basis. Things only get worse when he is made to work under the new production designer on the film… Simran, with whom he shares the strangest first encounter!

Simran loves luv storys; So much so that even her life has begun to resemble one. With her ideal job and the perfect boyfriend, Raj, she lives a blissful, dreamy life; One that is rudely interrupted by Jay's cynicism.

The turmoil's of Jay and Simran's life, is ironically interweaved with the Luv Story that they are working on…. But will Jay and Simran ever find their own Luv Story – go find it out in a theatre near you on 2nd July???